Adventures in a Neurologically Mixed Marriage

Posts tagged ‘pugs’

Squeezing Pugs

"A fawn pug lying down (2004)" by Jenny2513 - Own work. Licensed under CC0 via Wikimedia Commons

“A fawn pug lying down (2004)” by Jenny2513 – Own work. Licensed under CC0 via Wikimedia Commons

He says:

For a good portion of my adult life, I have been convinced that pugs can go to the bathroom only when squeezed.

This notion came from my early adult days in Chicago. My friend Jeff rented a room from a family in Evanston during his time at Northwestern University, and one of the conditions of his stay was that he was to take care of George, the family pug. George had some issues; the worst of which was that his bowels didn’t work properly and he needed some help. It was Jeff’s job to squeeze him.

I often kept Jeff company on his walks with the dreaded George, so after the initial shock of seeing a pug thoroughly squeezed wore off, I assumed—like the good little Aspie that I am—that all pugs needed to be squeezed.

Shortly after I met Linda, George somehow came into the conversation. I professed to Linda that although they are cute, pugs have a certain maintenance problem. I’m not sure how to accurately describe the look I got in return.

She says:

I was telling Tom that I thought pugs were cute. It was an offhand comment based on a Facebook photo. I’m allergic to dogs and wasn’t planning on getting one.  But Tom looked concerned. He advised me not to get a pug, and then he told me why.

I’m not an expert on pugs but it seemed unlikely that the smiling women dressing pugs up in Christmas sweaters for online photos were okay with this whole squeezing thing. So I turned to Google and punched in a variety of rather unsavory keywords. And after a fair amount of research, I could find no evidence that Tom’s claim about the entire pug breed had any merit at all.

We say:

And thus, the term “pug-squeezing” was born. Any generalization made on the basis of a single experience—something Aspies are prone to do—has since been met with a gentle, “Honey, I think you’re squeezing pugs again.” Which brings us to the topic of this blog.

We’ve read a lot online about Aspie/NT relationships being burdensome, awful and doomed to fail.  But we seem to be doing just fine—in fact we’re downright giddy. To us, the whole notion that neurologically mixed marriages are inherently unworkable is no better than squeezing a pug, and often with the same result.

And so, we’d like to offer a different perspective here and share some of our own experiences.


© 2012 Tom and Linda Peters

Spectacular Pug Image from